Mini-Sketches #1

MAN IN TRENCH COAT: Psst. Buddy.

PEDESTRIAN: Not interested.

MAN IN TRENCH COAT: (OPENS COAT) Want a cute puppy?

PEDESTRIAN: Ooooh! (CLAPS LIGHTLY)


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MAN: I scream for ice cream!

NEGOTIATOR: But we've already given you what you wanted!?


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COP: Do you know why I pulled you over?

MAN: Human connection?


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BIOLOGIST: I guess it'll just be me and the amoebas tonight.

AMOEBAS: Actually, we've got plans.


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JUDGE: Mr. Benson, on behalf of the state of Iowa, I would like to apologize for the total mishandling of your case. You've spent 23 years behind bars an innocent man for a crime you did not commit. Today's verdict will at least show that justice does prevail. Is there anything you'd like to add, and maybe say to me and the court, Mr. Benson?


MR. BENSON: Well. (TAKES DEEP BREATH) Does this absolve me from the other murders I've done?