Wanted Ads for the First Magician's Assistant to be Sawed in Half

Ad #1: WANTED: Female magician’s assistant. Must have two-year minimum stage experience. Willing to be sawed in half as part of show. £2 a day. Contact P. T. Selbit, London.


Ad #2: STILL WANTED: Female magician’s assistant. Must have one-year minimum stage experience. Still willing to be sawed in half as part of show. Workplace insurance available, though will not be necessary. £3 a day. Contact P. T. Selbit, London.


Ad #3: STILL WANTED: Female magician’s assistant. No stage experience required, amateur contortionist and aspiring actress (or either) ideal. Still willing to be sawed in half as part of show. Workplace insurance available, but again will NOT be necessary (trust me). Needs to keep secrets. £4 a day. Contact P. T. Selbit, London.


Ad #4: STILL WANTED: Female magician’s assistant. Hired if willing to flexibly and discreetly maneuver in long rectangular box in front of audience. Also isn’t afraid of long sharp saws. Workplace insurance still available. Dental offered now. Still needs to keep secrets. £5 a day! Contact P. T. Selbit, London.


Final Ad: STILL WANTED: Female magician’s assistant. Good pay and exciting opportunities! £10 a day! Contact P. T. Selbit, London.